She stepped out of the car, and on to the corner. The light changed and she started across the street. She never saw the car. She never felt a thing.

Me in the third person.

Funny thing is, I used to regret those flashes of mortality. The effect that it would have on the ones I love. How could I ever think of such a thing?

But, now, why not? When you’re living day to day you don’t have regrets. You do what you need to.

But I’m still here. And I doubt I’ll ever get the chance to exit this life gracefully early. No, I’m here to have all the stuff happen to me, so that it doesn’t need to happen to someone else. Silly thing is, I prefer it that way. If someone else does get an easier life, because of the knocks I take in mine, then it’s worth it.



“At times we aren’t volatile. I feel we couldn’t be more one. At other times I feel we are so volatile and there’s nothing I can do. I’m not asking for you to have the energy to fight for us. I’m not fighting against us. I’m not walking away quickly when I say time. I’m hoping that things work out for the best while we take a breather and hopefully we becomes closer. You have a strong loving conviction and it adds to my love for you. There’s a strength that one reaches though where I need you to be and it hurts me when I hurt you because you aren’t. We’ve had this happen several times including this morning.

That’s just something though. Thats not close to enough to make me stop loving you. What scares me deeply? That’s a good question and I don’t really know the answer. Everything I’d probably list here you’d tell me that I don’t know you so I won’t go into it to the fullest extent. Whether we are compatible types scares me. You have a lot of answers to the world and have been a lot of places and know a lot of people and that’s not what I want for my other half. I’m not really looking for someone to show the world to me. I’m afraid you aren’t soft-spoken enough for me and know the enjoyment that comes from silence even at the busiest times. I’m afraid I’m not going to entertain you enough because at this point in time I’m enjoying the lathargic life style of relaxing at home, playing some games perhaps, getting some work done, or just watching TV. These are just two or three of my thoughts that go on that point of whether we’re the right type for one another. On the counter we have many things we share and have in common so do not think I think of the glass as being half empty. What scares me…well I’m scared we aren’t right for one another and that our love will grow stronger and when more things go wrong it will rip me in half.”