On 9/30/99, 5:13 AM,”angela.benson” <email@example.com> wrote:
Subject: Guess what!
I told you last night how I collected Brads music (on Monday night) together
and shipped it out to him yesterday. What I
didn’t know was how big of a
difference it would make.
Gregg, I prayed and prayed, the four nights
I stayed there by myself. I
couldn’t seem to keep my concentration or
focus to be able to finish a prayer
at a time though. I kept feeling
uncomfortable in a “I need to get over it”
way. I thought I was just afraid of being
alone there at night. I went to sleep
when I was thoroughly exhausted.
Last night I didn’t have any feeling of
paranoia. I stretched out comfortably,
and didn’t worry about which direction my
back was facing, or feeling
“vulnerable”. I said my prayer,
it was complete, focused and made sense. I fell
asleep with a smile on my face. The house
settling noises were still there, but
they didn’t make me jump, or my heart pound
out of my chest.
I don’t care what anyone else thinks. There
is a difference, and there’s only
one thing missing from that one night to
the next. It even “screwed up” my
prayers. It wasn’t exhaustion either. If I
was exhausted, I couldn’t have
prayed better than all the other nights. It
only took one prayer, and it made
sense, with a beginning, body, and end,
I wish that there was some way to convey
the peace that I felt, how comfortable
I was able to feel to Brad. It’s a big deal
that I slept on my tummy. I left my
back open to the world. Even when Brad was
there I would sleep with my back to
him, and until he came to bed not be able
I used to pray ALL THE TIME. Once when I
was working with my pioneer partner I
had asked her, how often do you pray?
(Thinking of the scripture, you know the
one, when you lay down, get up….) She
said all day. That’s when I started
having conversations with Jehovah.
Anyways, I just talked to Brad. He called
to tell me that he’s coming this
weekend to pick up his drum set. To me
that’s an indication of separation. I
told him he would need to bring papers with
him, because I couldn’t allow him
to take that (for that reason) with out it
being “legal”. He also asked to have
the old furniture (it’s mostly all mine). I
told him that with the situation
that I am left in I need the money from it,
whether its him or anyone else,
because as he said this isn’t about love
Then I proposed a deal.
The hard way: just as I told him-
separation papers for him to pick up his drum
set, pay for the furniture if he wants it,
and it’s over.
The easy way: since he’s coming anyways,
stay for two weeks. Go to work, the
meetings, service, and family bible study.
No music (he’ll leave with his mom),
pornography, and his has to take his St.
John’s Wort & Magnesium (and before he
gets here so it kicks in). Have an open
mind. He doesn’t have to talk to me,
sleep in our room, or even touch me.
(Hopefully he will give it an open mind so
he will stick around the house for us to
interact.) If in two weeks he ready to
leave again I will give him the furniture,
I’ll get the papers, and I’ll even
help him load the U-Haul truck. And he case
say “I gave it a fair shot”.
What do you think? If he needs to talk to
someone to discuss whether he should
or not, would you (instead of Pam)? And if
he decides to take the easy way,
will you talk to him to get him in the
right frame of mind when he gets here?
I’m not planning an attack, just allowing
Jehovah’s holy spirit to do it’s
work, with the right actions in place.
Please write back. And thank you very much
for talking to me last night.