You would have been 22 years old today. I miss my baby sister and best friend every day, but on days like today I miss you just a little bit more. Mom and I have spent the morning looking at old pictures, it’s sad but comforting. I know I’ll see you again soon Jamie. I love you and I like you, always.
Its been 18 years and every time its just as difficult to deal with, 18 years since your light left this earth. Even all this time later you’ve still had such a huge impact on my life, Jamie. I think so often of how things would be with you here, and how i would give so much to have just another moment with you. Thankfully, one of my last memories is you falling asleep peacefully, so thats how i have to remember you now. Silently asleep, patiently waiting to come back to us. I miss you so much, but as a family, we will endure, and continue to love and encourage each other with love. We will see you again soon. Love you always.
17 years ago today, we lost you, Jamie. The tragedy of that still resonates to this day, there’s no need to mention how you’re impossible to replace. You were young, you were strong, and you were brilliantly beautiful. I remember how much you loved me as a big brother, and how you’d always compare yourself to me. Even taking height measurements next to me to see if you were as tall as me yet. You almost got there. To me, you’re frozen in time as that perfect little sister I had, and I literally cannot wait to see you grow up. Our family has gone through so much since then, but one thing I’ve learned is that through the ashes of tragedy can arise love. I could not love my sisters and parents more. They’ve had to be stronger than anyone should ever have to be. I’m so much more thankful for the two sisters I do have, and they will never know how deeply and intensely I love and care for them. How I will protect them till the end of time. I wish you were here, Jamie, to share in that, but I know you’re in Jehovah’s memory, and I’ll see you soon. I love you Jamie.
My favorite picture of us <3 I think what hurts most, besides the fact that ultimately you’re not here, is seeing your picture. It’s a tough reminder of your absence. Because after losing someone, whether it’s from a break up, a friendship falling out, or final loss in death, I’ve realized that we learn to live with that absence. We learn to live and adapt without that warmth. We move on. We have to. However, it’s crushing to think that shouldn’t have to. We shouldn’t have to, simply because we shouldn’t have to lose people. We’re not meant to, but because of this system, we have to. It sucks. It’s stupid. It’s not meant to be. Because if there is anything that is meant to be, it’s life, fullness, and vitality. Anyways, Jamie, I wonder what kind of deep conversations we would have on this, on the effects of someone else’s death that a different family had to face, how many beach trips we’d go on, if you would be a chocolate fanatic like me and Gianna, what kind of writing style you’d have (because you can’t be a Glass and not be writer), and amongst every other beautiful trivial thing that makes up an individual human organism. I know I’ll find out one day, thanks to the promises of Jehovah. I love you, all of us do, and we can’t wait to see you again. Really, I wish you could see how strong we’ve all become because of you.
This one is for you dad. I want people to know that no matter what they think, or hear, or assume, that you will do absolutely anything to see your baby girl again and will do nothing to compromise the hope that we have. I love you, and thanks for being my dad. I know Jamie would love you to the ends of the Earth and back, too, and I can’t wait to see that love in a paradise new earth.